⛰️Kepler Results & December 14 Preview
"I sat on the side of the track for 30seconds or so to collect my thoughts and get rid of the cramp.”
Your weekly fix of NZ trail running news
Here’s what’s in the drop bag this week:
🏃🏃♀️Kepler Results
🏃🏃♀️Trail Waihi Challenge Results
🎯Things You May Have Missed
🟣Worst Run Ever by CurraNZ
🏁Upcoming events: CTC, The Valley Ultra & The Spectacle
⛰️💊Mountain Skag Pic of the Week
Note: Due to the length, some email browsers will hide some of the content - make sure you click ‘view entire email’ or click through to substack.
The Kepler Challenge
Saturday, December 2
Kepler Challenge—The only event this year that will take you longer to read the results than it takes to sell out: 2 minutes and 8 seconds.
Kepler Challenge:📏60KM | ⛰️2000M
🏃♀️Women’s Podium
🥇Katie Morgan - 5:48:42
🥈Frances Redmond - 6:04:03
🥉Beth McKenzie - 6:09:43
Never. In. Doubt.
Katie Morgan completed her hat trick of Kepler titles to end the year on a high after an up-and-down year dealing with injury.
Straya’s Beth McKenzie🦘 looked to take advantage of the flat stuff early, leading Morgan by 12 seconds through to Brod Bay (5.6km)
Once the duo hit the steep stuff, it was all Morgan. At the Luxmore Hut checkpoint(13.8km), Morgan’s lead had stretched out to 3m30s, with Claire Bell third, a further 7 minutes behind.
Morgan never looked back, looked back once, and ate sh💩t. Doh! It didn’t affect her lead, however. She tore down the stairs of doom into Iris Burn Hut (28.4km), a whopping 18 minutes ahead. McKenzie was still in 2nd, but Frances Redmond had moved up past Bell and was just 2 minutes back.
Morgan biffed out the rearview mirror, kept upright and churned out the flat fast k’s to the finish, winning by an impressive 15 minutes.
Redmond finished strong, passing McKenzie and pulling ahead to take 2nd by 5 minutes.
I got hold of Katie Morgan late Sunday night, and here’s what she had to say:
“F*CK YEAH!!!!”
Okay, that may have been a placeholder, but I’m sure she said it.
How does this win stack up with your other two?
“This one for sure feels extra good. When I ran Kepler as my first ultra in the 2021 edition and came third never did I think I could win it once let alone three times in a row, so that's pretty cool.”
Did you change anything with your strategy this year or stick with your magic formula?”
“Nothing really changed in my strategy. I do have a coach now and so my training is more structured...but I still raced in Queenstown a couple of weeks before hand like all the other years and still approached the race knowing I was going to give it all I got!”
It’s time to get rid of the coach, Katie. You ran 10 minutes slower this year! 😝(JKZ)
🏃 Men’s Podium
🥇Daniel Balchin - 5:03:44
🥈Thomas Barnes - 5:16:12
🥉Benje Patterson - 5:23:11
Daniel Jones Balchin is your new Kepler Challenge Champion. We’ve waited 7 years for someone new … and the best we can do is a different last name!
Balchin, the Alexandra (Alexvegas? Alexandra Hardcore? Alehole?) resident, is no stranger to Kepler. 2 years ago, he decimated the Luxmore Grunt course, taking the victory and the course record with it.
Last year, he took the race to Dan Jones, leading him through the first 1/3 of the race before running out of juice.
At Brod Hut (5.6km), it was all tied up. The promised Backwards Cap Barnesy & Balchin show was underway, with Benje Patterson only a few strides back, keeping his eye on proceedings.
Balchin once again made his move on the steep climb to Luxmore Hut(13.8km), grinding out a 1-minute lead over Barnes with Patterson a further 2 minutes back.
He edged further ahead through Forest Burn Shelter but came acroper, descending steeply into Iris Burn Hut (28.4km). After a heavy fall and his lead all but gone, it wouldn’t have been surprising to see Barnes start to pull away.
Full credit to Balchin. He got the engine restarted and kicked into another gear. With the mountains behind them, Balchin just had too much speed, showing a bit of leg and that 2:22 speed from the Auckland Marathon back in November.
Balchin kicked on to win by 13 minutes over a now-suffering Barnes. Fortunately for Barnes, he’d done enough early on to hang on to 2nd, finishing 7 minutes clear of Patterson.
Another year of the Kepler Challenge, another Daniel standing on top of the podium😂.
Check out the full Kepler Challenge results HERE.
Luxmore Grunt:📏25KM | ⛰️1200M
🏃♀️Women’s Podium
🥇Penny Mouat - 2:30:32
🥈Miram Clark - 2:30:43
🥉Stephanie Wilson - 2:33:53
Penny Mouat came out swinging, leading Miriam Clark by 15s through Brod Bay (5.6km), with Ruby Knight & Stephanie Wilson working hard to keep in striking distance.
With the warmup complete, Mouat got to work. She chopped her way through the steep climb to Luxmore Hut, 1m31s ahead of Wilson, who moved past Knight & Clark on the climb. Now for the fun part, the run back down.
All was going well until a rock wanted some attention, sending Moaut horizontal.
She managed to get going again, but it was enough of a jolt to give Clark a sniff, who was once again in second. It turned into an all-out drag race back to the control gates, with Mouat finding an extra gear to sprint clear by 11 seconds.
Penny was kind enough to put up with my pestering.
How does it feel to win one of NZs premier mountain races?
“A win like this has been a long time coming. My partner, and now coach spoke at the start of this year and we agreed on "no more 4th place this year." The training has ramped up and I've found being out for big days in the hills really paid off. I'm stoked aye.”
How did things play out at the front?
“Race plan was to lead the race conservatively to the top of the hill, then send it home. All went to plan until the middle of the downhill where I had a massive stack on a rock. I sat on the side of the track for 30seconds or so to collect my thoughts and get rid of the cramp.”
“From there, body went into survival mode and was just aiming to get to the end. With 2km to go I looked over my shoulder to see Miriam only 10m back. Gas went on and the heartrate went up to 194bpm to the finish.”
“I wouldn't have had it any other way. Miriam is a classy runner and classy friend, so to have it come down to the wire with her like that was awesome.”
🏃Men's Podium
🥇Jonothan Jackson - 1:55:14
🥈Liam Dooley - 1:57:15
🥉Timothy Jorgensen - 2:05:08
Jonothan Jackson defended his title, taking his Luxmore Grunt title tally to 3. Does this surely cement his place in history as one of our greatest grunters?
With respect to the rest of the field, there was only 1 person who looked likely to upset the Jackson apple cart. Liam Dooley.
The pair were just over 19 minutes to Brod Bay (5.6km), a little off the pace in recent years, but with just the 2 of them already 1m30s clear of 3rd, there was no need to tempt fate.
Jackson once again took control of the race, heading up the climb to Luxmore, turning around 3 minutes ahead of Dooley.
Jackson couldn’t let up, knowing that Dooley’s young legs were descending without a whiff of fear behind him. But fear not, he had done enough on the climb to hang on to a 2 minute victory.
Dooley chased hard, clawing back some time, but he never really got a look.
Timothy Jorgensen had a great back half of the race, making the Luxmore turn in 6th, running back through Brod Bay in 5th, and beating out Dwight Grieve in the final stretches to take 3rd.
Here’s what Liam Dooley had to say:
“From the gun it was just Jono and I, once we reached Brod bay and started the climb he got into his rhythm and I just couldn’t match it.”
“At the hut he had a 3min lead and with a better descent I managed to claw it back to 2mins by the finish. Another Sub 2 hours in the books, so happy days!”
-Liam Dooley
For more details on the Kepler Challenge, check out the website and follow on Instagram and Facebook.
This Week’s Newsletter Is Brought To You By…
The Tararua Mountain Race
Saturday 12th of April, 2025
Race the historic tramping route ‘The Southern Crossing ’ with the support of LandSAR.
☀️20% Chance of Sun
🌬️10% Chance of No Wind
🩸100% Chance of Blood, Sweat & Tears
Entries Now Open | Read More
Trail Challenge Waihi Results
Saturday, December 7
Whoopsy daisy. I missed this in last week’s upcoming events. It’s good to see Totalsport selling out an event after downsizing to focus on its races out of it’s Taupo office.
📏42.2KM
🏃♀️Women’s Podium
🥇Oddette Jennings - 4:58:41
🥈Mallory Collecutt - 5:13:13
🥉Mari Manger - 5:19:26
🏃Men’s Podium
🥇Denis Finn - 4:43:28
🥈Robert Lee- 4:51:48
🥉Matt Sinclair - 4:51:48
Mallory Collecutt, co-host of the Run Adjacent podcast, made the trip down from Northland to take on the marathon course. She finished 2nd on the day. Here are her thoughts on her big day out.
How did the race play out at the pointy end?
“Well, here I was 4.5 months post baby with my ego sky high leading the female pack for the first 6-7k when Odette comes flying past me saying “I’m sure I’ll see ya up the mountain” which really meant “I’m in damn good shape and won’t see your ass again”.
“I spent the first half of the race feeling sorry for myself. Swallowed my pride and decided this is a good training for TUM so ran the second half only seeing one other marathon fella to lead me along the blue tape maze. Kudos to the lead men early on helping me not take many wrong turns.”
What were your impressions of the Waihi Marathon course?
“1)Strap those ankles up for the first half of the course and put your big girl undies on.”
“2) How did they manage to fit all that vert in a place that doesn’t seem that hilly?”
“3)Don’t worry, if you have survived the first half the second half has waaaay more speedy runnable sections with the exception of the ques for tunnels and swing bridges.”
“ 4) Total sport was amazing, they put on a great event - I will never do that run again by choice because of my own weakness in the technical bits, walking through the tunnels and swing bridges, and terrifying underfoot terrain. But if that’s your forte, this course is for ya.”
Congrats, Mal. That’s a fantastic achievement💪. Everything looks on track for TUM😊.
For full results, CLICK HERE, including the 21km, 13.4km & 8.2km races.
Things You May Have Missed
Inia Raumati First In The World
Inia Raumati is officially the first to race a self-supported stage race on every continent in the same year. Yeeee ha! He finished on a high too, taking out 2nd in Antarctica🥶.
Movement 4 Archie - December 7th
Last week, I posted about the Movement For Archie event and fundraiser. The Give-a-Little has jumped to $16,000, and Kieran Horne completed 90KM in his 12-hour enduro fundraiser, successfully raising another $22,000 for Archie and his family!
Des Linden Is In Town
Des Liden, one of the best to ever put on the Red, White & Blue at the marathon distance, has been on a Kiwi trail tour with Ruth Croft. Very cool😎. I have no idea if this is purely a holiday … The Spectacle have been talking up that they’ve got some big names …
Soul Runner Looking For An Editor
Many of you will know Cambell Forlong. Back in 2017, he ran 52 marathon distance runs in 52 weeks. Remember that this was before Shannon-Leigh Litt, so it was pretty impressive back then! Anyway, he’s written a book, and it’s at the draft stage. He would love to hear from you if you have book editing skills or publishing contacts. Either DM him on FB or reply to this email, and I’ll put you in touch.
Worst Run Ever by UTMB 🟣CurraNZ
This week, Conor Keena has chucked on the beret and Birkenstock and transported us to the poetry lounge.
An Ache In My Hoop
Feeling I needed to get in some K’s,
I hooned up the hill in the rain.
The descent is my strength, I cascaded unfazed,
‘Til I crashed with a butt-full of pain.
For when scampering down slippy boulders and stones,
My ankle rolled, crosswise I flew.
Dear coccyx, it cracked against old lava bones;
Three weeks with an ache in my hoop.
-Conor Keena
You’re in the draw for some little purple pills from 🟣CurraNZ.
Purple pills for a purple arse? I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure that checks out.
Keep the stories coming in! Send them to trailrunningnz@gmail.com
November Winner
I thought I would send it to our evil overlords at ChatGPT to decide November’s winner
Read the below stories from the segment. Based on these 2 stories - who would win in a race for a box of Curranz?
Based on the two stories, the winner of a race for a box of Curranz would likely be the first storyteller. Here's why:
Story 1 Runner: This person went for a brisk 6km run and managed to greet 40 runners. Despite being disheartened by the lack of response, they maintained their pace and positivity, suggesting resilience and mental focus. They seem steady and consistent, which would be advantageous in a race.
Story 2 Runner: While Conor’s descent skills are highlighted, his story involves a crash that resulted in a painful coccyx injury. His risk-taking nature might lead him to start strong, but his injury-prone history and tendency to push limits could put him at a disadvantage.
In conclusion, the first runner’s controlled, steady approach might give them the edge over Conor's thrill-seeking but potentially chaotic style. Plus, their cheerful spirit might provide an extra boost if the Curranz box comes with a "say hi" bonus!
You’ve won a box of CurraNZ🟣 for your effort.
You can read Adam’s story here.
They can be short or long. Funny😂 or sad😭. You can own it, or it can be made anonymous. They can even have a happy ending.
Upcoming Events
The December 14 Royal Rumble
Crush The Cargil by UB40 - Dunedin
Saturday, December 14
Nothing can be said to be certain in this world, except death and taxes… Crush The Carill.
Crush The Cargill. Home of the best meme account, the most chaotic podcast (bring it back!) and NZ’s the WORLD’S most affordable 100-mile race.
In an ever-changing society, Crush The Cargill brings some certainty.
The Twigg will be lifted. A group of misfits will attempt to take a fridge to the summit of Mt Cargill, and Steve Tripp will put on a pig suit.
No idea what Crush The Cargill is?
Imagine ‘The Blue Lake Challenge’, but instead of going around a lake, you stroll up a little hill.
Run as many laps as you can in 24 hours - the most laps gets to lift The Twigg, a wildly undersized trophy.
The record is currently 18.
Last year, there were 145 runners, but everyone was a bit lazy, and Petrus Hedman won in 14.
They also had the inaugural 100-mile race. It’s the same sh💩t, with a slightly different texture. Instead of having 24 hours to do as many laps as possible, you start Friday at 10 PM and have 36 hours to complete the 100 miles.
Last year, 800 bothered to turn up, with 3 finishes, with Chris Bisley crossing the line in 27:32.
It might be a small field, but with Courtknee Doowalter turning up last year, rumours are running wild about the potential lineup.
I don’t think it’s any coincidence that US Marathon legend Des Linden was in Queenstown this week running Ben Lomond and the Kepler Track with Ruth Croft. A perfect taper for Crush The Cargill AMIRITE?
Check out Crush The Cargill for more details, and follow on Instagram for maximum LOLs.
Valley Ultra - Canterbury
Saturday, December 14
ATTENTION: THE VALLEY ULTRA IS STILL RUNNING
On Thursday morning, a small fire in the Castlehill area(inland from Churchur) turned into an out-of-control blaze affecting over 1,000 hectares.
I presumed the December 14th curse had struck again.
BUT-
In the most cliche way, The Valley Ultra rises from the ashes once again.
Here is the latest announcement from Race Director Sheree
“After meetings with representatives from DOC, FENZ and the Castle Hill Village residents, we are pleased to say that the Valley Ultra is still ON, subject to some restrictions.”
“There will be a change to the Whole Hog course. We are currently looking at a course of between 45km and 50km which will provide similar elevation changes as the original. Full details will be made available (with maps) later this week.”
“The Piglet and Teacup courses remain unchanged.”
“And importantly, there will be NO spectators allowed on course. This applies to all three races and is for everyone's safety. This rule must be respected.”
“If there are any changes to these conditions, we will let you know. In the meantime, happy tapering and we are STILL TAKING ENTRIES see you this week!”
“Massive thanks to all those amazing FENZ workers!”
So unless something changes between now and Saturday, this thing is ON like Donkey Kong (not like the weird ON ‘cloud’ shoes.)
Races on offer:
The WholeBurnt Hog: 📏54km* 👆2000m*
The Piglet: 📏24km 👆1200m*
The TeacupFire Extinguisher:📏10km 👆500m*
So, if you’re in the Canterbury region and need to spread your legs, it’s not to late to sign up for The Valley Ultra.
Check out The Valley Ultra for more details, and follow on Instagram and Facebook.
The Spectacle - Nelson
December 13-15th
The Spectacle. Where seeing is believing, who would have thought an optometry conference would get trail runners so excited?
Being the new kid on the block, all eyes are on ‘The Spectacle’. They’ve got a shiny website, ex-Olympians and adventure races behind the scenes, and by all accounts, a lot of $1000 Hipster frames have been sold to fund this thing.
Whenever I see the word “festival”, I get nervous. I’m all about providing a great experience, but you’ve gotta make sure you nail the basics.
The best experience you can provide to the trail running community is having a great course that is well marked with aid stations that don’t have lukewarm budget Cola. No one gives a sh💩t that they can watch The Black Seeds up the front if they got lost or dehydrated because an aid station ran out of water (Dang, 2 unintentional Tarawera digs in one paragraph, my bad.)
I want this to be amazing. I think we all need this to be amazing. The scars from the OG The Wild still run deep in the community. Having two large-scale events( The Faultline back in April) launch and run successfully in the same year will go a long way toward us all moving on.
The Trail Running Menu:
📏10KM | 👆337M AKA ‘Should Have Gone To Specsavers’
📏21KM | 👆1181M AKA ‘The Monocle’
📏50KM | 👆2308M AKA ‘The Contacts’
📏100KM| 👆4832M AKA ‘The LASIK’
📏100M | 👆7000M AKA ‘20/20 Vision’
One thing I can say for sure is that anyone who races next weekend will be treated to some of the best terrain in the country. It’s almost a war crime that there hasn’t been a large-scale trail event in Nelson until now. But wouldn’t it be nice to know who was racing next weekend?
Well, I rolled back the clock and hacked into The Spectacle mainframe.
Unfortunately, I got kicked back out before I could get a decent look. I managed a quick scan of the 100KM & 100M lists.
My Picks:
📏100KM - 🏃Vajin Armstrong 🏃♀️Chrissi Faber
📏100M - 🏃♀️Emma Timmis 🏃Troy Field
I had just started loading the 50KM list when I got booted. As I started scrolling… it might have been my eyes playing up, but I thought I saw the last name Croft … or was it Fielder? It kind of looked like there was a Haunschmidt, too - but I can’t be sure. I guess everything will be revealed next week.
Check out The Spectacle for more details, and follow on Instagram and Facebook.
The Wild
Saturday, December 14th
Whoops, that’s a bit awkward …
If you missed it earlier in the year, The Wild was the first victim of the December 14 Battle Royal. Mal Law and the team made the decision to pull the pin after signups weren’t at the level they needed to be to host the event.
However, this is a reminder for those who are still heading to Arrowtown for the weekend that there is an official #notofficial “Not The Wild” if you want to join a group to hit the trails.
Register Here
#Mountain Skag Pic Of November
Vote for your favourite #mountainskag winner from October below.
I’ve taken the names off the photos to avoid it being a popularity contest.
Because I’m slacking off after next week, December entries will roll into the January draw, but we will have 2 winners. Twice the chance to win.
Tag @trailrunning.nz (NOTE THE “.”) and use #mountainskag on Instagram or email trailrunningnz@gmail.com to enter.
Every entry has a chance to win the monthly giveaway of a Mountain Skag T-shirt or hat.
We will be back next week with all the results from the December 14th shootout. It takes hours to write this newsletter but only 8 seconds to forward it to a friend.
PS: I almost forgot Rocky’s Backyard Ultra in Tauranga, the first Backyard in the mighty Bay of Plenty. Look out for Jane & Toby McAlpine, who took home the His & Her Events paid subscriber giveaway. They‘ll be lounging in style between laps.